a man can get some


say one thing for leash, say she loves the d.

brttny32194:

but why do i say “i know” to my pets when they make noises. im lying to them. i don’t know anything.

princeowl:

Mulder: Where are the aliens? WHERE ARE THE ALIENS?
Space Mountain Employee: Please sir, you’re causing a fuss and disturbing the other visitors-
Mulder: *banging hands rhythmically on the wall* WHERE-ARE-THE-ALIENS? WHERE-ARE-THE-ALIENS? WHERE ARE THE ALIENS?

“Pussy put his ass to sleep, now he callin’ me NyQuil”
- William Shakespeare  (via cyberqueer)

jaclcfrost:

living in a small town is wonderful

  • are there a lot of modes of transportation? nope! you either drive or you’re out of luck basically
  • are there a lot of job opportunities? no! of course not
  • are there things to do? hang out at the grocery store or go to the only movie theater the town has!
  • are the people nice? of course not! not at all!
  • are you close to anything interesting? nope! everything interesting happens hours away and you’re stuck in the middle of nowhere
  • Hawke: *breathes near mages*
  • Fenris: +9999999 Rivalry.
  • Hawke: *breathes near templars*
  • Anders: +9999999 Rivalry.
  • Hawke: *breathes*
  • Carver: +9999999 Rivalry.